Photo taken by Cai Fang

In the aftermath of a life-altering year, I’m slowly making peace with change, asking for help, and doing what’s right for our family.

I remember growing up hearing that the first five years of a child’s life are the most important. There was a strong emphasis on staying home with your children, and studies suggested that kids who spent those early years with their mothers had better outcomes in life. But then, that belief was challenged with questions like:

• What about socialization?
• What about developing emotional intelligence?
• They won’t get that at home with you as a parent.
• Kids need to play with other kids.

I find myself at odds with what I want for our child. My husband and I compromised by hiring a nanny. It seemed like the perfect solution:

• We wouldn’t get sick as often as we would if our son attended daycare.
• He would receive individualized attention and engaging, developmentally appropriate activities.
• The nanny could reinforce our household rules and boundaries.
• She would serve as both a teacher and a friend to our son.

But having a nanny came with its own challenges. Our nanny was never on time. Many mornings, we weren’t sure if she would show up or if we’d get a text saying she was running late. Personal and medical issues frequently pulled her away, and she was also juggling college.

So why did we keep her? Because she was amazing with our son. They had a strong bond, and he loved having her dog around.

Ultimately, I’ve learned I need more help with raising a child than I ever imagined—especially after last year’s health crisis that turned everything upside down and reshaped what I thought I knew about strength, limits, and recovery. Six months later, I’m still finding my footing in this new reality.

So, we made a new decision: We enrolled our son in preschool two days a week, where his best friend also attends. Now, he gets to play, make new friends, and experience time away from home. We reduced our nanny’s hours to two days a week, and as she transitions to a work-from-home job, we’re planning to send our son to preschool 4 days a week when she leaves our family. (Update: our son is now attending pre-school four days a week.)

With our son out of the house part-time, we’ve reclaimed quiet, productive hours at home. And when he returns, we get to hear all about his day at school. He benefits from socialization and a fresh environment, while we regain a bit of balance—a win for everyone.

There is no single “right” way to parent. The right way is what works for your family and helps prepare your children for the future.